No Dessert for You! Now Go to Your Tower
Remember to read thoroughly the “Read Me First” post on this blog before responding to this post. You may discuss any—or a combination—of the following as long as it results in three (3) 5-7 sentence paragraphs.
Some Comments:
Comment #1: “If more space is given by the parents, then the children won’t be controlled and they’ll [be able to] do anything, like visit inappropriate websites…. On the other hand, distance gives children more independence, and when parents and children are distanced, children see how important parents are.”
Comment #2: “The parents that are building these houses with big, spacious rooms are running away from something that society can’t change…. Children want their parents to be there for them and not just to be in the next room ignoring the fact that their [emotional] needs are not being met with materialistic items.”
Comment #3: “Our children will soon be working on developing a sense of identity, exploring who they are as individuals, and establishing mature friendships outside of the family circle. To accomplish these tasks, they will need privacy…At the same time that teens need privacy and time with friends, they also need family interaction and guidance from parents; they need caring adults to set rules and limits, especially on how to navigate and interact with the world beyond the family circle.”
Comment #4: “I think everybody needs his own space, it doesn’t matter his age…. It doesn’t matter how big or small a room is—everybody dreams [of] one. People have to understand, instead of criticizing, that [parents] do whatever they think is correct for their kids.”
posted by Garth Ferrante @ 9/17/2006 06:23:00 PM
28 comments
28 Comments:
I believe that parents should give their children what they feeltheir child deserves. I agree with comment #1 it states that if children are given too much space it gives them the opportunity to do such things as visit adult websites. Thats why we set limitations. With everything we do or ar a part of there should be limitations, parents should give their child what they deserve but there is a diference between loving your child and spoiling them. Overwhelming them with things such as extremely large suites can lead to bad things such as a drop in their grades among other things
Jean Mombrun
The article of "no dessert for you now go to your tower" describes a very given side of the parents because they are willing to give such amount of freedom to their children.It was said in the article by one of the kids that is not like the paents are with them all the time witch creates concern because if you don't know what your child is doing then how do you expect to keep them in check. Also giving too much to the kids might give them a sense of freedom and might forget ho the parent is. Another thing is theat trhs suits cn create more distance between the family and it might damage the communication more than what already is.
The second comment belongs to Carla Quintero
It is fine for parents to give their children some space but children do not need to have a suite in order to have their space. Like comment #4 said everyone dreams of having a room like this whether it is big or small. I do not want to criticize parents, but this not the way they go about things. It is okay for parents to do whatever they think is good for their children, but these suites are to extravagant. I understand you want your children to have their space and they will but not in this way.
Johanny
Yes, I agree with J.M.that we should set limitations for the kids. Giving them such space will allow them to surf explicit websites. Also, there is a difference between loving and spoiling one's kids. He is absolutely right!
Jean Turner
Response to B. Farrante
From P. Sellers-Bradford
Unfortunately, parents traditionally do not always make decisions for their child based on logic or weigh the pros or consequences, but in this case based on their financial ability. Why else would they purchase 6,000 to 11,000 sq. feet homes? This does not necessarily mean that they have given any thought as to whether or not the children will become closer, distant or independent. Do we believe that we can trust children’s behavior (like stolen time at inappropriate internet sites) because we have them in a room only ten feet away? Evidently, these parents are exposing their children to luxury amenities basically because they have money enough to do so. I do not believe they are giving their children large suites based on their desire for closeness to their child or wanting them to become more independent.
Response to Jean Mombrun
P. Sellers-Bradford
I agree that parents should give their children the opportunity to achieve by sending them to good schools and buying computers. But should we eliminate buying spacious homes or allowing them to express their likes and dislikes in their large private area? Isn’t it true that families with children that live in one room has achieved higher than some people who came from mansions? The truth of the matter is that children who achieve best are those whose parents or significant others monitor the learning environment, as well as the peers that surround their child. I disagree that spoiling your child who deserves the extras will “lessen their grades or lead to bad things.” Setting boundaries on what you will or will not tolerate, good reasoning and spending quality time with them are equally important as a large or small living quarters.
In response to comment number three(G.Ferrante)children do have a right to have freedom and friends. Although the parents should not isolate themselves from the child. A parent can not bond with there child if they are always seperated.As a child is growing they do need to develop there own thoughts by themselves. If a parent ignores their children they will latter have the result of a wreckless teenager. (v.Mouzon)
In response to Derrick W. Parents should give there children nice things. Many parents love their children and they take the time to have a suite builded for there child or children.I think this is a great treat to a young child or teenager.I feel the child should understand the priZe they are being given. If a child didn't work to be given all the gift they get fom their parents than the parents should not give it to them.
v mouzon comment above
To:jean M.
from:v.mouzon
One of the main elements in a child's life is being near your parents. No parent can be with there child everyday and all day.A parent should be aware of what there child is doing. Yes, child are sneaky and do things behind there parents back but it's easier to see waht they are doing if they are closer to there parents.
Response to Mr.Ferrante
I think if more space is given by the parents, then the children won't be controlled and they'll probably end up doing inappropiate things. It makes the relationship between the parents and the children very distant instead of the parents being as close as possible to their children especially in the first couple of years of their lives.I think it's only fair for those children to know that they are loved by their parents, instead of feeling like a piece of furniture in the house that is neglected.
Loreen Hanna
To: J.M.
Parents should give their children what they deserve but in this case I think parents exaggerated. By parents doing this I think they will push there children away. There is no such thing as give me everything I want and I will be a good child. I do agree with J.M., the extremely large suites can cause for children not to do so good in school. I feel is good to give your child everything, but a suite is a bit too much.
Johanny commented above
Response to v Muson
I agree with the fact that parents should give their kids nice things or as you say a treat, but what i think is a real treat for kids that can't be replaced by the entire world, and that is the love of their parents, the ability to see how much they care and adore them,not how many nice things they get them.
Loreen Hanna
To: Professor Ferrante
Fr: Mary Garcia
I believe that a child with a suite all to themselves can harm them. A suite with all the commodities means this child doesn't have to come out only to eat or go to school. Which can hurt the relationship between the child and parent. The child can also end up doing things that are not safe or illegal. If the child is going through something will the parent know. Probably not since the child is always in the suite.
Reponse to: Jean Turner
From: Mary Garcia
I agree that you should have supervision over your child, especially if there in a suite. Children have to much to do in there and if not supervised who knows what they might be doing. The child could be using drugs or going on web sites they shouldn't be on. As far as the unity in the family there will be none because the chlild is always in the suite. Too much freedom is not good especially with a child that needs attention.
Response to: Loreen Hanna
From: Mary Garcia
I agree that too much space for children can cause problems. Children need love,affection,understanding and communication with the parents. Children need their parents to guide them not let them do whatever they want. Some parents don't even realize what their doing is neglecting their child. Children do things they shouldn't do when they feel neglected. In school they even end up dealing with peer pressure just to feel accepted. This is when they really end up doing the wrong things.
Respond to Maria Garcia
I definetely agree with what you are saying about the kids needing supervision at all times, and that they will be no unity what so ever between the parents and the kids which will cause them to do inappropiate things, and act in a very irresponsible ways in result of not having parents there for them to guide them and tell them what's right from wrong, no what to watch over them and be a friend rather than just a make belief parent.As for the distance there has to be a certain amount of it, it can'tbe a very little distant where the kids don't have any sort of freedom which will lead them to hide things, and lie to their parents,and at the same time it can't be a very far distance where there is no communication and connection between the parents and the kids.
The comment above is by Loreen Hanna
Response to Mary Garcia
I agree with Mary when she says too much space can cause problems. I think this is what leads kids into peer pressure. They aren't getting love at home so they begin to feel unwanted. So they go to their friends in school who may be showing them the attention they do not get at home. Parents do not realize how they affect their children. This is why kids turn to drugs or gangs.
Johanny
As a REALTOR, this article made me realize many important key items in a home environment. First of all i disagree with these parents giving their kids everything they want. If parents gave thier kids everything they wanted, kids would live in an environment where what they say goes. Giving kids such freedom can also cause a loss of control on the parents side. You can never trust your kids alone, no matter what the circumstance is. Kids that are alone tend to bend some rules that parents set. In conclusion, liberty for a child gives the worng message to the world, children must understand the true meaning of a dollar and also life, if they are just given everything they are going to expect everything of life and not give nothing in return.
Manny Sanchez
Responding to Carla's Blog
I agree with carla's response, i believe that supervision is the key element in a relationship between parent and children. Also if parents gave everything to their children, they wouldn't appreciate what they have. IF we gave kids more space, they also can break the connection between parents and children
Manny Sanchez
Response to Jean:
I disagree with the statement that Jean said:
"I believe that parents should give their children what they feeltheir child deserves."
If we gave our children everything we never had as a child and gave them what they asked, they wouldnt know what is the meaning of earning soemthing. I come from a family where everythingyou got had to be earned, and i guess that is how i was brought up, if they had giving me everything just to give it to me because "I deserved it" i would of never "Appreciate it"
Manny Sachez
Response to Jean:
I disagree with the statement that Jean said:
"I believe that parents should give their children what they feeltheir child deserves."
If we gave our children everything we never had as a child and gave them what they asked, they wouldnt know what is the meaning of earning soemthing. I come from a family where everythingyou got had to be earned, and i guess that is how i was brought up, if they had giving me everything just to give it to me because "I deserved it" i would of never "Appreciate it"
Manny Sachez
Response to Jean:
I disagree with the statement that Jean said:
"I believe that parents should give their children what they feeltheir child deserves."
If we gave our children everything we never had as a child and gave them what they asked, they wouldnt know what is the meaning of earning soemthing. I come from a family where everythingyou got had to be earned, and i guess that is how i was brought up, if they had giving me everything just to give it to me because "I deserved it" i would of never "Appreciate it"
Manny Sachez
Response to Manny Sanchez
From P. Sellers-Bradford
I disagree with the comments pointing to children growing up in large homes as becoming untrustworthy. The size of the area that a person lives in is not the determining factor that a child will abuse narcotics. The determination of the parents to spend quality time with their children to instill values may be accomplished by their frequently walking down the hallway to the child’s room to lie on the bed having chats, reading or watching television with them or take them outside for recreation activities are meaningful interaction between the parent and children that assists in the child’s growth. The physical structure of the home is basically the parent’s dream and was purchased based on their economic ability and hard work. Are these parents setting the bar so that their children may follow their example to achieve? Do they like poor people want their children to have the best they can offer? Children that come from wealthy backgrounds are taught values, to give, share and many become honest and trustworthy.
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